It was cold the morning of October 24th, and the sun had yet to burn off a dense fog. Plump dewdrops weighed down blades of grass. Work was about to begin. The task at hand was to finish the deepest…

It was cold the morning of October 24th, and the sun had yet to burn off a dense fog. Plump dewdrops weighed down blades of grass. Work was about to begin. The task at hand was to finish the deepest…
On Friday, Naviance Inc. announced that hackers have stolen the Naviance goals of 3.7 million students across America. That includes every single goal made by U-32 students. The hackers were hoping to gain information about the American schooling system to…
After eight years serving our learning community, Spirit, U-32’s school ferret, died sometime last week. He was discovered late Friday night by custodians polishing the kiosk in the school’s entry. “We noticed the smell, to be honest,” they said. “And…
Welcome to This Woolly Life, the Woolly Mammoth’s podcast. In this episode, we will delve deep into the real story behind the #freeJed and #freeHans movement. Speaking about this issue is Jed’s brother, Waylon Kurts. He tells an amazing narrative…
On Friday, September 14th, as U-32’s students sat in the auditorium for the homecoming pep rally, a quiet ceremony was taking place under the shade of an apple tree behind the school. With only her parents and TA Glenn Houston…
A familiar voice fills the halls of U-32 every day, reminding students of bussing changes and sports rescheduling. This voice may be a constant around U-32, but recent rumors have been surfacing of autotune in the announcements. These allegations have…
As most of you are probably aware, Principle Steven issued an advisory email to the students and staff recently about the potential contamination of waffles in the cafeteria. In this time of uncertainty and confusion, it is important to stay…
Viewers of last Monday’s installment of the PBS series “Fanatical Ancestors” were treated to a dose of U-32 family history, courtesy of Junior Cooper Lamb. “I was doing some research on Ancestry.com and saw the ‘fanatical’ tab,” Cooper said.…
Surrounded by her friends in the stall, she waited anxiously. She didn’t expect anything but “no”. “I found the number on google and called on my cell phone, from the school bathroom in between classes,” she said. “I honestly thought…
Every year, high school students take the “Vermont Youth Risk behavior Survey,” which seeks to collect data for the state about how its children and teenagers are doing. In past years, the questions have been pretty generic — but this…
Zoo Facts is an independent branch of the Woolly Mammoth dedicated to teaching U-32 students more about their school, its people, and its history. Ten new facts every month! 1: The vast majority of U-32 students are someone other…
AP Astrology is new to U-32, but there are none who doubt the class’s usefulness. From reading a person’s future based on stars, to reading a different person’s future based on different stars, the class’s range of talent is truly incredible.…
A study done by the AP Stats class last week revealed startling information: 140% of all U-32 students and 110% of parents are unable to recognize satire or fake news. The study was part of a national data collection survey,…
Principal Dellinger-Pate has made yet another divisive addition to his burgeoning administration, appointing a fellow Texan, twenty-six year old Kelsea Winston, as U-32’s next Snow Day Commissioner. Winston, also part-owner of a big game ranch near Dallas, has come…
Late last month, U-32 horticulture student Dakota Dunham was working on a project on the plant balcony when he became separated from his expedition. He discovered a treasure map underneath a pot that was printed on ancient cardstock. The map,…