Humans of Central Vermont is a new series made to tell stories about the lives of people in our community. It is modeled off of the Humans of New York series by Brandon Stanton. We want to capture local voices, to see what’s under the surface of familiar faces. The words of the journalist are in bold; all other words are directly from our neighbors.
For this article, I had the pleasure to sit down with resident of Montpelier, Jenny Sheehan, and discuss her story.
Tell me about yourself.
I was born in Washington, D.C. and grew up in the suburbs of Virginia. I went to college in Winter Park, Florida, at Rollins College. Then I came home to Virginia and I didn’t know what to do with a sociology degree job wise. I’ve always known that I wanted to work with people or kids. My dad taught at George Washington University, sociology, so any education there would be free for me, except for the library fees. I was going to go into human resources, but then learned about at the School of Education, they had a master’s program in counseling and community counseling and school counseling. So I did that.
What was that like?
I finally felt like I met my people. As far as being with a lot of people that are the same, and interestingly, we all had similar Myers Brigg types, which is a personality test. So a lot of intuitive feelers were all together. I did really, really well because I finally found something that I liked.
And how does that fit into your life now?
Well, career wise, once you get a degree in counseling, it’s hard to get a job because you’re not licensed yet. I had additionally gotten a school counseling degree, I did a school counseling internship as well as a community counseling. I applied to different schools for jobs.
Ultimately, I ended up at a battered women’s shelter in Leesburg, Virginia, where I was the assistant children’s director. It wasn’t like the kind of therapy counseling I’d been trained in. We were working with people in their everyday settings. I worked in the shelter with the kids. There was a room where we did art or I’d drive them to go to playgrounds or to Baskin Robbins. I’d support them and their family while they were in the shelter, a safe house away from the other abusive adult. From there, I worked at a shelter in Washington, D.C. and ran a counseling center. So I was actually getting to do counseling. I worked with adults and children, and I had all these toys and they were playing with them. I didn’t really know what I was doing because I didn’t really know what any of that meant. The kids play. Kids don’t talk, they play.
In Baltimore, there was a school where you could become a certified play therapist and learn more about play and what the kids are expressing, and that was really fun. I learned that play is the language that comes to kids. It’s their language. And they say the toys are their words.
Then I got married. I waited until after the wedding, and I came up here and I got a job at Howard Center, which is one of the big designated agencies, one of the largest community mental health organizations. I worked in the outpatient children’s section, and they were excited because they liked that I could teach them play therapy. I worked there until I got pregnant and I wanted to stay home with Owen and Andy. I did that for eight years.
I learned a lot about children and parenting during those eight years. It’s a tough job. Definitely blessed with my two boys. It was a lot of a personal experience where I felt I really didn’t have that insight before having kids.
When youngest Andy went to kindergarten, I opened a private practice in Barre. Then Covid-19 hit and that was a freak out like, oh my gosh, how am I going to see kids on a computer?! I called an old supervisor and she said, there’s someone in North Dakota that knows how to do this because people live so far from each other, and the weather’s so bad, they do it all the time. This one therapist in North Dakota taught thousands for free, how to do it. I learned lots of fun strategies and it was great because just like in the shelter where you can see their home and you don’t just see them for the hour, I was able to see into their home, meet their pets. After that I closed my Barre office and was working from home. And then I opened a practice in Montpelier.
Any specific lesson that kids have taught you?
The first thing that comes to mind is when I was in a women’s shelter in D.C. One of the little boys was crying and would not stop. He really, really wanted to watch a movie, and he couldn’t get off of that…You notice kids and meet them where they are. [I acknowledged] “You really want to see a movie.” Then he immediately stopped on the hamster wheel.
Kids have taught me to meet them where they are. Noticing them helps build their self-esteem. They feel heard and that kid was able to break out of that cycle.
As a parent, I feel like I learned maybe the most, because I feel like I made it a constant thing of making so many mistakes. There’s a lot of ability to get closer with your kids when you repair them. I lost my temper [when] our kids’ emotions would be really, really big, and if we respond at the same level, that’s not good, but there’s always the opportunity to repair that.
When were you the happiest?
In my own childhood, I was a really happy kid. I had amazing parents and I just felt safe and secure and very, very happy. Playing with friends in the neighborhood and at school. All of those days were golden.
Having Owen and Andy and little moments throughout time where it wasn’t the stressful times. Like, it’s time to get in the bath or kids don’t want to get in the bath and once they’re in the bath, then you can’t get them out of the bath. Or getting them to bed.
And then, of course, meeting their dad.
Any specific little happy moments that you remember?
I remember when we brought Andy home from the hospital, Owen walked out of the house with my mom and they brought me flowers.
Just different things they said, when funny things would happen. Owen would say, “I am not eating at this table until Andy puts pants on.”
Owen and Andy would run around in circles from the kitchen, the dining room, living room or the other way around, singing some songs. Or them jumping into the leaves outside. I really love when we read stories together every night. We would cuddle close. That was my favorite time.
Who’s been the most influential person in your life?
My mom. She provided me with such a solid base because she was so nurturing and loving, but she’s also super, super wise.
She would be able to manage situations well when the difficult times happened, and be a really incredible sounding board. So I always learned a lot from her, and she never, I mean, maybe underneath she would take my side, but she would never really take my side and she would listen to the whole situation. I feel like I learned a lot from her.
She was a social worker and then an educator, and she was my kindergarten teacher. She asked me before, “Do you want to call me mom or Mrs. Brown?” And I said, “Mrs. Brown.” And then all the other kids called her mom.
She’s always been right there, a close person. I would say my dad too. He was more open, less judgmental and very funny, really humorous. So yeah, my parents.
Any specific lessons or memories they taught you?
There are so many things. They’re all integrated into my brain. My dad told me to put on a smile and be positive because that will draw people into you, even if you’re feeling negative and you want to complain a lot. He made me think that that’s going to get tiring for other people and to be around, so just to be positive. Just having positive energy.
They told me education was something that is more valuable than money. They’re both teachers. They said you can never lose your education and what you learn, but my father then had a stroke and he couldn’t speak. He knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t say anything except for “shit” because that’s a reflex.
Something my mom taught me? Really understanding the other person’s perspective, by not taking sides.
What is your greatest fear?
Growing up, it was that my parents would die. I was always afraid of that, and that I couldn’t make it in the world without them, and here I am doing that as of this year. I also think something happening to my children, Sean dying.
One of my fears that I’ve had throughout life is thinking people don’t like me. And the importance of belonging. So talking to my high school self too, I would try to tell myself you can fit in wherever you want to fit in.
What would you tell your high school self?
I would tell myself to have stronger self esteem and feel more confident because all this little stuff, it’s gonna go by fast, and it’s really not worth getting yourself worried about. I would tell myself you can fit in wherever you want to fit in. And to not be hard on yourself or think that you’re dumb or ugly. You are valuable and you are going to find your way.
