This is the first installment of ASK ANYTHING, the Chronicle’s new sexual health column. The following questions were selected from the “Anonymous Box” from Meg Falby’s 2nd Semester Sex Ed classes. Answers are created by students…for students!
“I want to save sex for marriage, but I feel like the atmosphere — school and society — is saying I should already be sexually active. I also feel that some might laugh at me or think that this value is innocent or lame…is this true??”
A1: “The decision to have sex or not at any age over 16 should be completely your own decision; if you are at a point right now where you want to wait for any reason, you should stick to this and not feel pressured. There are so many other ways to have fun and enjoy life than sex.”
A2: “This value is not lame nor naive, it is perfectly fine to save sex for marriage. It doesn’t matter what people think because it is your body, not theirs.”
A3: “I feel like this is a decision you have to make for yourself because letting other people influence your decisions for something so sensitive could lead you to be unhappy with the decision you make. There will always be people that think differently, but hopefully you’ll have important people to help guide you through whatever decision you make.”
“How do you know if someone actually means yes when it comes to sex…instead of like, thinking they are pressured to?”
A1: “You have to ask multiple times, and be sure they are serious about this. After that is in your hands and you have to read their face or body. If they look unsure or unwilling, ask for clarification, then you have to be responsible and understand to respect their answer.”
A2: “DUDE, ask them. And then ask them again — if you feel awkward, keep it simple like…”is this ok? Are you down with this? What do YOU want to do?”