Forensics Add Twist to Keebler Case

After three weeks of stalled investigation, the Vermont Bureau of Retail Crimes announced a major breakthrough today in their investigation of the high-profile heist of a Keebler cookie trailer on I-89 in Middlesex last month.   Forensic analysis has revealed a possible link to satanism, according to Mitch Swinton, Director of Vermont’s Major Retail Crimes Unit.   

“Law enforcement today is all about technology,” Swinton said at today’s press conference. “We sent our crime scene photos to an enlargement lab out of state– they were able to isolate visual details that our detectives just don’t have the technology or the training to see.”

Forensic analysis revealed the numbers “666” and an upside-down cross written in  bold black paint on the trailer’s front drivers’-side corner, beside the lower corner of the Keebler mural.  The symbols, less than three inches in height, are obscure to a casual observer but clearly legible in the enlarged photos.

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The V.B.R.C. has hired Coleen Dwindell, a Connecticut detective who specializes in satanic crimes, as a consultant on the case.  It will be weeks before she issues her official report, but at today’s press conference Dwindell said the symbols are clearly satanic.  

“The number ‘666’ is closely associated with satanic rituals,” Dwindell said at today’s press conference. “And the upside-down cross is an anti-Christian symbol.  Whoever made these marks was basically making a satanic statement.”

Dwindell said that other Keebler trucks and billboards have been marked by satanists in southern New England, and that the position of the symbols, adjacent to the forked root in the Keebler tree, could be significant.    

image02‘‘The Forked Root,” Dwindell said, “is the codename for a rogue team of Keebler executives who went underground after their activities were discovered by company police in 2012.  And the forked tongue, like a snake would have, is another satanic symbol.”

The Bureau of Retail Crimes is awaiting Dwindell’s official report before moving to the next phase of the investigation.  In the meantime the agency is urging the public not to jump to conclusions.

“This is not about Keebler being a satanic company,” Swinton said.  “It’s about a major retail crime.  Period.  With some satanic elements.”

Swinton said the agency welcomes any information it might get from the public in solving the case.

“We can’t do this alone,” he said. “This case is going to take a long time, and a lot of teamwork.  Anyone who knows anything, or wants to get involved, should contact us online.”