BREAKING: Turtle Fighting Ring in the Senior Lounge

A new trend has been rising in the state of Vermont and the seniors here at U-32 have decided to participate.  The new trend is known as “Turt-Figging.”

image00Turt-Figging (a codename for “Turtle Fighting”) has been on the rise since 2007, and has been spreading northward in the state. It first started with some students in Arlington, Vermont, and it has slowly made its way up here.

This past week a police bust caught many of the students participating. The students involved were seniors: Matt Cole, Max Sawyer, Howard Young and Paul Stevens. The audience were an assortment of people from varying grades.

From the police’s perspective, this turtle looked to be the winner. “We had thrown a flash grenade into the senior lounge to stun all of the students.” police chief Debra Woolfe says. “We were able to apprehend the owners of the turtles and the cash pot the students had put into it. Within the pot was around $15.72. We’re considering this a successful bust.”

The students have since been expelled and will not be allowed to return on the school property.

The police have been investigating this cell of Turt-Figging for months and this bust has been a long time coming. Rumors say that there was a person on the inside.
We will report any additional news on the story as it arises.